New note to self...www.digitalexpressions.nu. Has all the stuff I'm looking for....I think. Also recall that I had a thing on OpenDiary.com YEARS ago, if it's still around.
New news: Went and saw one of my few good friends on his birthday last tues. Had fun, had lots of italian food in kc viva la buca de beppos! Saw the whole emporia gang, or at least the ones that were important. Had a blast, and made it back home safely. Next day, heading home from work (to find out there was no work) A couple in a 96 camry tried to turn right in front of me on west street. Couldn't stop, couldn't get over. Truck isnt TOTALLED, but import parts are expensive...even if it is 8 years old. What made it so bad is that the other drivers didn't see if I was dead or anything, they just sat right in their car like a coupla dumbasses, right in the middle of the intersection. My god, people are sheep. Then told the cops that I ran a red light! So I got the fucking ticket, I had to get the truck towed, and now I have a 125 storage fee with AAA because they lied when they said my insurance would take care of it. So it's gettin towed home tomorrow, where I will part it out, or let it sit, or trade it in or whatever. AAA guy had the balls to say if I signed it over to him, he would take it to a junkyard and get scrap for it. I know the thing was becoming a piece, but it was still running (even without a radiator) and he coulda made $1500 easy, if not more, if I woulda said sure. Thank god fiddling with cars has taught me SOME things. Like basic maintenence. So here I've sat for the past week, no work, no car, no prospects for a brighter life. I've been spending money I don't have to get the camaro running again, esp since the car I got my mom when I DID have a ok paying job has become a piece. She didn't like the wagon, so she didn't try to take care of it. A year without power steering fluid, or transmission fluid, and having my grandad break shit on it has not been kind to the poor car. It's in my name, AND insurance, and I cannot even borrow it without a bunch of drama.
What makes matters worse is that right when I'm having car trouble, my mom decides to borrow money from all of us to get an old 'burban land yacht....that doesn't drive. Oh it runs, and nice too. Good 87 all roller engine. Would go nice in one of the camaros. Tranny is shot. Mechanic she bought it from (our crazy lebanese family mechanic) says he can get a new one in there for 650 + 300 labor. So in addition to 700 for the car, she wants another g from all of us to get the trans replaced. I could do it, even knowling the little shit I do, and I tell her. Hemming and Hawing. Screw it then. So everybody's now REALLY broke. Another car that doesn't run. So I sure as hell can't ask for help, and I"m already getting close to chipping off rent money getting the car ready. Spending the nite over at moms house, which I swore years ago I would never do again. Yes sir, life has been very interesting. At least I can't say I'm bored anymore. Pretty much decided I'm going to have to quit my job too. Whatever else I end up getting back on the road again, it will prob not be as reliable as the truck was...or as gas effficient ;) I could keep the wagon and fix it back up, but no one wants to hear that. $400 for a car that has not even had fluid changed in 10 years, and has run for over one year with no problems at all...except when grandad tried to fix it....Just like he tried to fix the computer....I'm still the family's computer bitch too. Soon as I left yesterday, my mom called me up all panicked and pissed cause she couldn't get on the internet, and she wanted me back over to fix it right NOW. Same person who used to always tell me not to let other people do that to me, but the rules and advice never applies to her.
Don't know why I'm ranting and bitching tonite. Life actually hasn't been so bad, other than not being able to go any fucking where. As soon as the parts get here, I can start work on teh camaro, summer class starts tue, I haven't finished homework for my nite class, and I get my annual inspection for the house on wed. landlords---Im sorry property management still isn't doing shit, and I still get basment flooding a year after I moved in, after they promised it didn't flood (when I was looking dead at puddles) and after they swear they would get it fixed asap. I think now they know that I know they'll never get off their ass. Funny thing is, I'm thinking about buying the place, just so they can fix it, cause it's a nice enuf place....if it doesn't get torn down to make room for a strip mall like one of the repair guys said it might. Capitalism at it's best....
I should pull rank and just take the wagon....I'd never hear the end of it there tho. Besides which, family power struggles suck. Although I am being the bitch cause the bitchy, evil, single old maid aunt that nobody likes has been told that all this money has changed hands for my benefit. So next family gathering she's gonna be trying to get all in my business, and I don't get any benefits. yes sir, taking it up the butt for family....now that's love.
Speaking of love, I may have an honest to god date. No girlfriend yet, I thought that there were not near enuf intelligent or people that didn't set off my wierdo alarm in wichita for that. But I may have a date, and that's better than nothing. Getting into cars has not totally erased the fact that I used to be your friendly neighborhood perv. Not quite a manwhore, but I used to be a bit of a don juan. Well, that was when I was popular, I guess. Since I dropped girlfriend, friends, job and all that shit to move down here to take care of mom, who just wanted someone to bitch at, it's been one long, unending trip thru hell. Ever since I finally dropped the office space job, things have gotten better, even if I am bacdk to being DEAD broke. Maybe it's all an elaborate trap to get me to stay in wichita. I sure as hell hope not. But I got my friends, I got my car (on jackstands), a love interest, and I haven't had to move back home yet. Gotta be grateful for the little things. Hell, even as I update this thing, I'm writing a letter to a friend of mine who has just about had it with her boyfriend. I used to think the man was cool myself, but he became an ass. God knows, I haven't actually written letters since high school. God also knows that finger cramps suck. It's almost like I'm starting to think I have control over my life again, or something. I'm starting to act, instead of react. I might just regain my old self and whatever it is that I lost when I came down here yet. It beats sitting around all the time being bored and steadily getting older. I'm not 65...I'm supposed to be having fun, dammit!
Now, all I gotta do is be able to pay my bills, and get a coupla friends that arent losers, and I'll be set. Hell, I might even put up the fiction and e-zine and stuff I used to do back up. Seeing how I write pages of stuff on here, I haven't lost the joy of learning, teaching, or hearing myself talk. It HAS to be one of the three, but I haven't figured out which yet. It would be cool to see some of that stuff. Since I believe I am starting to outgrow my fantasy fixation, that leaves anime, samurai flicks and sci-fi. Especially cyberpunk sci-fi. Well, we'll see how the time goes. If I just get cable again (and stop my unoffical boycott of everything run by Cox) I might get more serious with this web stuff. Time will tell.
One of my friends who never gave up on the independent filmmaker idea we used to all kick around, has been trying and trying to get a crew together to start doing stuff again. It seems we are all still spread too far apart, but I think we'll be able to make it work one day. We have also jokingly kicked around the idea of starting up a porn company, in order to fund REAL moviemaking. Actually, I think he was serious. I'm not the perv I used to be tho, and don't think it'll fly. With all the free porn nowadays, who would pay for it? Besides which, I'm currently the only single one out of our circle of friends that I know of...although I havent caught up on gossip. And I'm camera shy *grin* He's also been looking for a good artist on a print comic idea he has....can't find any. Topeka truly must suck worse than Wichita. =-(
Note to self--maybe blogs should be for camaro only, another diary for bitching, observations, news. remember linkage page...get script so anyone can add link I believe I can make this all work together better, and not so damn static. DHTML is the future...

Camaro Man is done ranting for the day....THAT IS ALL