http://drgoat.blogspot.com/ Another random link that caught my eye when logging in today. On to the rant.

My main beef is with life itself, I think. Why does it have to be so damn hard, and why is it that so many people are always looking to pull you down? Not too many years ago, I didn't worry about this much, or if I did, I sure as hell didn't worry on it long. But then again, not too many years ago, I had books, videogames, and computers that I was always sticking my nose in, and didn't have to worry about bills, and stuff that I do now. I think, in the short path from my early twenties to my mid/late twenties, I've grown too cautious. When you're in your teens, early twenties, nothing can keep you down for long, and you don't really have a fear of death or failure. In other words, you're still stupid from being full of hormones. ;)

Yesterday, after relaxing and taking in a movie, I felt like my old "self" for a rare moment. It felt good. I think it is very true that if you can keep looking yourself in the mirror everyday, then your'e doing good. As an adult, I have tried hard to have some integrity, and to do the right thing, even if it bit me in the butt. Unfortunately, it seems not too many people (esp in Wichita) share this ideal. One thing I have learned since being here is forgiveness. Used to be if someone screwed me, they made a lifelong enemy. I learned the hard way that sometimes its best to let things go. At the time, I never understood that if I had the discipline to keep from doing stuff that was obviously stupid, or potentially hurtful of others, how other people could go right ahead and do that same stuff without blinking.

Now that I've got that feeling back, I've got to take advantage and do the most I can, while I can.

six months till I get my degree, if I can take the heat, and keep up. Cant afford messups or depression now.

Looking at some of my fellow bloggers site's today, and came across this :site It's in japanese, try translating it through babelfish Kinda tired, still playing catchup from sleep dep from last coupla days. Saw Last Samurai tonite, I liked it. It IS based on a true story, although I do no know/remember whether tom cruise's character was real. I kinda doubt it, but I could be wrong. Watanabe Ken was the man.

On a personal note (which is what THIS blog is for) I think that if I stop with the neverending waves of self pity and self doubt, I might get somewhere in this world. The past is past, so I need to stop thinking about that, as well. Had been going thru the motions those last coupla weeks of class, albeit with more determination and less self pity and depression than previously. I just gotta have faith in myself and my beliefs, try to be wise, and most importantly, keep learning when to shut the hell up. ;)

Finished final project, final project presentation, and final program project outline. All I needed to do was spend the last 3 days working on it nonstop. Take delievery of big block tomorrow. Have some things to worry about, but too damn tired at the moment. For now all is good with the world. Ja ne.