made another realization today. I'm still thinking high dollar go fast parts for the cars, and
stressing over being able to afford these speed parts. There's nothing wrong with stock.
Even if the aluminum heads are sexy as hell. I'm running around in circles getting these things
runnig...again. Found a coupla 3rd gens that I might snag for daily driver.
My own insurance co seems to be trying to screw me. Must keep fighting with them
I've been bitching the last several years about wichita (and kansas) not being the place for
me. Instead of crying, I have been trying to do something about it the last several months.
Had friends over for the weekend, it was a drunken good time. We even got some work done
too. Laserquest was good. Mental note : If you have friends that are avid FPS pc gamers, it
is a given that they will kick ass at lasertag.
Mental Note: I do NOT need more project cars. No matter how exciting, it must be running..
at the very least. Mental Note: the Z WAS running before I took it apart.
It was very fun hanging out with the gang again. The only real friends I seem to have, that I'm
still able to keep in touch with. I felt a bit melancholy, as I realized over the weekend that it's
quite possible I might never see them again.....especially if I move to japan. If I do come back to
the states, I will be going to a metropolitain center...so I can actually find a job. poverty sucks.
Thank god I'm single. What would I do if I had to worry about a spouse or kids?

I've gotten really, really, really tired of either feeling sorry for myself, or being bored to death
and staring at blank walls alll day. I don't think there is much else I can do though, with school
in session (barely started, really) and work even if that's a just barely. And needing a car and any
other hobby I start or continue still requiring what I don't have: money. At least I am keeping fairly
busy with figuring ways to spend my cash wisely or get the things I need done on a budget. And the car
hobby IS fun when I'm not stressing....God, I shoulda been an engineer. Woulda had loads of fun.

Computer stuff was also loads more fun when it was just a hobby. That a way, it was just something fun
to do in my spare time. Now that I look for it for a career, it's not fun. Not boring or anything, but there's
a difference between spending an all niter doing something you enjoy, and spending an all niter trying to
keep up with techology that's ALWAYS changing. I think I kinda shocked my megagamer buddies, because
it's not so vital to me to have the newest games or hardware anymore. (I still feel embarrassed that my pc is
three years old now tho) I never told them even when I WAS a gamer that I actually beat very few of the games
that I play. I just play them till I get bored, and then got another game. Another reason could be that every time
I would get close to beating a game, something bad would happen, and I HATE starting over again. I have changed from
hardcore gamer, to run of the mill, to *gasp* a CASUAL gamer.

Another concern of mine now that computer stuff is career instead of hobby: Health. My former employer
had a triple by pass, and was trying to go back to work 3 days later. It wasn't his first triple by pass either.
Bad health is one of the things (besides cracking under stress) that you have too look out for in this field. You
are at the keyboard so much just for your job, you don't get much chance to eat healthy, or enteract with other
humans very much. I am mobile for work, and fiddling around in the garage. the rest of the time I'm sitting on my
butt (which is getting flatter and flatter) in class, or doing homework. I don't go to kenjutsu anymore, and there
are no gyms (for men) nearby. I'm very concerned about the health aspect.

Been helping my grandmother with clerical stuff at her new teaching job. After 3 days helping
out at an hour or so a piece, I can well understand why after 30 years of teaching she didn't
wanna come back. I saw more bullshit and office politics in those 3 days than I musta dealt
with in my 2 years at WSU. Made me remember that education was always a big money item in
federal and state budgets, and until just recently, once you got on, you were guaranteed a job with
the usd until you quit. I can see why petty-power-hungry clerk types would abound there. All I
ever wanted to do was help other folks when I was going to teach (grandma's influence). Looking
at all these would be mini-empire builders, I think my belated career change was for the better.
It makes me laugh now that I remember that I used to think being an instructor would be much less
stress than being a programmer or "hardware" guy. Same stress, if not more. And not alltogether
different, althou I woulda said they were both radically different not too long ago.

Still worry about real life application of my degree after I finally graduate. Can't do much
about that now tho. After I find a stable job, would like to continue in school for masters
(might as well) and maybe eventually try for that engineering degree.

In the meantime, I still LOVE to take shit apart and figure out how it works. MOre than that,
I love to BUILD stuff that actually works when I get done...would like to build a kit car some
day when I have the cash.