Well, been a while since last update. J-list is NOT mostly porn as I had feared. Apparently, there is a different kind of japanese fanboy that is into "AV" or japanese adult video. Yes, this IS porn, but not quite the same. I didn't know there was a whole subculture on it, like with computers, anime, etc, etc.
Site is about to get a minor redesign if I can ever get the time to do it. Graduation is a month away, and even tho I'm not (planning) on walking, I am still finding myself incredibly busy. So busy, in fact, that although I had everything on hold to flee to Kansas City, I may have to go back to my original plan and wait another year.
As a personal note, I am very happy as to the fact that once I get done this summer, I'm NEVER taking so many classes at one time again. I have never felt so stressed and anti-social in my life. Well, that's not quite true, but I feel like I've been living in a bubble or prison cell or something. Just counting down the days, now...
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Today found out that one of my links to japanese anime and stuff is in reality a link full of PORN. must remember to put up a mature content blurb for the link. I always heard that j-list was the place to find anything you wanted, but besides funny t-shirts, region free dvd players and some swag, most of it was just porn. Shocking. Really. Now I may understand where some of those funny looks came from when I talked to folks who said they'd been to my site.
Bleh. Had some stuff "remember to blog this" but can't remember it now. I guess most important is that I actually use this thing. Keeping a diary has never been on my list of priorities, even when I thought this stuff was cool and cutting edge. 8) Anyhow, things just seem to be a totally different perspective now than when they were when I was in my early 20s. Wonder how they will be after I actually hit the big 30? After having this blog for about a year, I still can't say I've put anything vitally important to my future or that of the human race here, or even whether the bulk of all this shi iet has even been important enough to archive. However, it HAS helped tremendously in getting junk off my chest and getting on with my life. Who knew? Certainly not me. I always thought "ranting" on blogs or messageboards was the mark of a primadonna/attentionwhore. You know, the guys and gals that go "look at me! I'm angsty! I'm doing stuff so damn silly, you would slap the hell out of me if you weren't afraid of a lawsuit/or me offing myself for publicity!"
Anyhow, still counting down days to graduation. My life continues to be on hold until then, which is really, really, really frustrating, when it's already been a year, and still holding. After that, lots of stuff is gonna happen mighty damn quick. Moving, Master's program if possible, trip to japan, what the hell am I gonna do with the camaros? I need to stuff in order quickly. Need a new pc, and to freshen my coding skills. Will need house and job STAT. Hmm....
Wish I could quit my job now and coast through these last few months. As it is, I dunno if it will really look that good on paper: Resident barely paid (asst) lab tech/secretary for a baptist church. yeah.
Anyhow, still counting down days to graduation. My life continues to be on hold until then, which is really, really, really frustrating, when it's already been a year, and still holding. After that, lots of stuff is gonna happen mighty damn quick. Moving, Master's program if possible, trip to japan, what the hell am I gonna do with the camaros? I need to stuff in order quickly. Need a new pc, and to freshen my coding skills. Will need house and job STAT. Hmm....
Wish I could quit my job now and coast through these last few months. As it is, I dunno if it will really look that good on paper: Resident barely paid (asst) lab tech/secretary for a baptist church. yeah.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
good news and bad news today.
Good News...apparently now MY webhost has unlimited storage for my account. yay. Unfortunately, but understandably, bandwith limit is the same. Still, I have yet to break 100 MEG of transfer /month, so I think I'll be ok for a while. Time to start hosting some stuff....maybe even *gasp* yet ANOTHER site redesign?
Bad News...I am so damn tired of school right now...all I want to do is quit and find a job...ANY job. Prob couldnt find anything if I wanted to tho. Computer jobs are tight...altho they're better than they were a coupla years ago. Want an example? I'm sitting in pc lab right now, watching an old lady fiddle with a printer that's been here since I got outta high school in '95....dot matrix of course. Lab aids are no longer freshmen who've kissed enough ass to land a "sit on my butt" job all day. Now they're actually folks that are laid off and can't find anything better....
I am done with cars for now. I am gonna get the 73 running, since it's so close, but no more spending all my cash on go fast stuff...I can't afford it. I'm godawful bored tho. I understand now the joke about the laid off network admin wiring the whole house. I am of a mind to wire up mine with security cameras and auto on coffee maker....and other stuff, just becasue I'm so freaking bored. Worst thing is IF I get a decent job, will be nothing more than entry level, stuff I've been doing for years...
Not really depressed or anything right now, just ansty, bored, and dead broke. Rent was paid today...ugh.
Need some booze. That's it. And more (local)friends would be nice. Cheap gas prices would be super.
Heard from an old buddy that used to be into LARPS. Seems the kc kanar is inactive this year, and Emporia kanar is once again on the move. I need the stress relief, god knows. Might actually go do it.
What is Kanar & LARP? It's Basically SCA with foamed padded utensils....
Good News...apparently now MY webhost has unlimited storage for my account. yay. Unfortunately, but understandably, bandwith limit is the same. Still, I have yet to break 100 MEG of transfer /month, so I think I'll be ok for a while. Time to start hosting some stuff....maybe even *gasp* yet ANOTHER site redesign?
Bad News...I am so damn tired of school right now...all I want to do is quit and find a job...ANY job. Prob couldnt find anything if I wanted to tho. Computer jobs are tight...altho they're better than they were a coupla years ago. Want an example? I'm sitting in pc lab right now, watching an old lady fiddle with a printer that's been here since I got outta high school in '95....dot matrix of course. Lab aids are no longer freshmen who've kissed enough ass to land a "sit on my butt" job all day. Now they're actually folks that are laid off and can't find anything better....
I am done with cars for now. I am gonna get the 73 running, since it's so close, but no more spending all my cash on go fast stuff...I can't afford it. I'm godawful bored tho. I understand now the joke about the laid off network admin wiring the whole house. I am of a mind to wire up mine with security cameras and auto on coffee maker....and other stuff, just becasue I'm so freaking bored. Worst thing is IF I get a decent job, will be nothing more than entry level, stuff I've been doing for years...
Not really depressed or anything right now, just ansty, bored, and dead broke. Rent was paid today...ugh.
Need some booze. That's it. And more (local)friends would be nice. Cheap gas prices would be super.
Heard from an old buddy that used to be into LARPS. Seems the kc kanar is inactive this year, and Emporia kanar is once again on the move. I need the stress relief, god knows. Might actually go do it.
What is Kanar & LARP? It's Basically SCA with foamed padded utensils....
Monday, March 01, 2004
Life indeed sux. Lost wallet AGAIN...must be 2nd time in less than 3 months...problably more like 2 and 1/2. I can't beleive it. This time there are only two possible places it could have gone...bathroom at WSU library when I was involved in rigorous mediatation, or right at home, in the a.m., while I slept.
I beleive it must have been someone walking in the door while I slept. Hard to believe cause insomnia hit and I didn't knock off till around 5 am or so, but only explanation I have, because front door was wide open when I got up, right at 9"30, and rushing off to try not to be late for work. I also believe this because trousers I had on last nite, with the billfold in question was in living room (dont remember having them there) and 2 bux or so in change that I had as well as some parts store reciepts that were in pocket are gone as well. I just can't believe this. Dunno who took it, neigbors, mailman, some random dude broke and walking down the sidewalk....at least I don't have to add vengeful ex-girlfriend to that list...heh.
I had like $60 bux in the wallet itself. Change from selling some stuff outta the garage. Well, not anymore. =-( I was actually gonna eat REAL food this week. No more microwave burritos and water. Now I gotta get ANOTHER new liscense, ANOTHER new soc sec card, and ANOTHER new bank card. No new windshield for the 73...this month. At least they haven't hit the bank account, as rent is due at the end of the week. God, you do make Mondays Oh so interesting. The last wallet incident happened inbetween a sunday and a monday as well. Also right around rent time, if I remember right.
Barely missed being rearended during all this excitement too. Thank god I was in the other lane. Some chick in sunglasses and thinking she was cool (had the sunglasses, and was trying to get her smokes out) went and rearended another chick stopped at a red light and with her blinker on to turn. Less than a minute before some douche in a jeep decided to stop in the middle of the fast lane and make me slam on brakes before he turned on his blinkers and turn. "I don't have to use blinkers, I have a jeep".
Very frustrating. If I didn't have other stuff to worry about, I would be looking harder for some ass to kick. Any ass. Refrained from screaming at some old lady with arm in cast who asked for help with her locking gas cap....on a dodge aries/reliant. Would have been amusing if I did not recall doing the same to my aries. At this time of gas prices, not funny at all.
Hell, I should be glad I'm alive....whoever came in (IF they came in) to take wallet could apparently just as easy killed me in my sleep with my own damn samurai sword....or a kitchen knife, or a fork....
I beleive it must have been someone walking in the door while I slept. Hard to believe cause insomnia hit and I didn't knock off till around 5 am or so, but only explanation I have, because front door was wide open when I got up, right at 9"30, and rushing off to try not to be late for work. I also believe this because trousers I had on last nite, with the billfold in question was in living room (dont remember having them there) and 2 bux or so in change that I had as well as some parts store reciepts that were in pocket are gone as well. I just can't believe this. Dunno who took it, neigbors, mailman, some random dude broke and walking down the sidewalk....at least I don't have to add vengeful ex-girlfriend to that list...heh.
I had like $60 bux in the wallet itself. Change from selling some stuff outta the garage. Well, not anymore. =-( I was actually gonna eat REAL food this week. No more microwave burritos and water. Now I gotta get ANOTHER new liscense, ANOTHER new soc sec card, and ANOTHER new bank card. No new windshield for the 73...this month. At least they haven't hit the bank account, as rent is due at the end of the week. God, you do make Mondays Oh so interesting. The last wallet incident happened inbetween a sunday and a monday as well. Also right around rent time, if I remember right.
Barely missed being rearended during all this excitement too. Thank god I was in the other lane. Some chick in sunglasses and thinking she was cool (had the sunglasses, and was trying to get her smokes out) went and rearended another chick stopped at a red light and with her blinker on to turn. Less than a minute before some douche in a jeep decided to stop in the middle of the fast lane and make me slam on brakes before he turned on his blinkers and turn. "I don't have to use blinkers, I have a jeep".
Very frustrating. If I didn't have other stuff to worry about, I would be looking harder for some ass to kick. Any ass. Refrained from screaming at some old lady with arm in cast who asked for help with her locking gas cap....on a dodge aries/reliant. Would have been amusing if I did not recall doing the same to my aries. At this time of gas prices, not funny at all.
Hell, I should be glad I'm alive....whoever came in (IF they came in) to take wallet could apparently just as easy killed me in my sleep with my own damn samurai sword....or a kitchen knife, or a fork....
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Must see Big Balls Live! No, I have not decided that I like men all of a sudden. (I love the ladies, not the laddies.) Rumor on radio has it that AC/DC is gonna go on tour. What better way to celebrate camaroism than going to an AC/DC concert? Still broke, being a computer nerd for this church is getting old. Most of the people are cool, but there are posers, (like everyplace) that get on my nerves. And there's also the fact that while I'm not getting paid a whole lot, I'm hearing constant complaints that I'm getting paid TOO MUCH. Old 'puter guy seems to have spoiled the place by doing everything for free and fixing husband's cousin's grandson' s pc on the weekends, etc etc.
I MAY not have a life either, but that is because of classes. No more freeloaders for me thank you very much.
Still lusting after a t-top 2nd gen. Maybe when I'm rich.
Now shopping for a car for my teenage sister. Dunno why, she has grown to be a self centered brat, and mom's "favorite", but she's still family. And she deserves better than being screwed out of the sweet car deal (97? Camry, aunt's, got new liberty) that was two years in planning until it fell through (NEVER do business with family) So I am looking for something cheap and ULTRA reliable, that she will probably break 2 weeks after getting it just to do the right thing. *sigh* I just hope my kid brother surpises everyone like I think he will. He's the only hope I have left out of all my siblings.
Other news: Not much. Had linkies to some pretty neat webcomics....
www.artbomb.net was one, other's I will have to dig out.
I MAY not have a life either, but that is because of classes. No more freeloaders for me thank you very much.
Still lusting after a t-top 2nd gen. Maybe when I'm rich.
Now shopping for a car for my teenage sister. Dunno why, she has grown to be a self centered brat, and mom's "favorite", but she's still family. And she deserves better than being screwed out of the sweet car deal (97? Camry, aunt's, got new liberty) that was two years in planning until it fell through (NEVER do business with family) So I am looking for something cheap and ULTRA reliable, that she will probably break 2 weeks after getting it just to do the right thing. *sigh* I just hope my kid brother surpises everyone like I think he will. He's the only hope I have left out of all my siblings.
Other news: Not much. Had linkies to some pretty neat webcomics....
www.artbomb.net was one, other's I will have to dig out.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Friends came down over valentines day weekend. I gotta say, it's pretty cool to have someone still able to tolerate you well enough that they still come by years after college is over (for them) I feel like I have a couple of xtra siblings....
Anyhow, no real new news. Trying to figure out what my future plans will be after graduation. I HAVE to get out of wichita. The plan originally was stay for another year and get my masters, then move. Family is behind this idea. With spring on it's way, however, I am once again getting itchy to get out of here. Want to check out kck or dallas area. I hear dallas area IT is starting to pick up again. kcmo is out of the question because of cost of living...at least so I think now. There is also the option in the back of my head of going to japan as a JET instructor. I would REALLY like that, especially if I could parlay it into something where I got to stay there for good. I was planning on pursuing this after master's program, but again, thinking of trying to pursue it earlier. I am also starting to get cold feet about master's program. I do not know exactly what a masters of management information system does, but it makes me think of data analysts, and that is something I have no real interest in. I enjoy hardware, networking (administration), security, and maybe programming. Those are the fields I'd like to tackle. If I HAD to, I definetely wouldn't sneer at an analysts job, or database admin. I just don't have any interest (or aptitude I think) for it. Still deathly afraid of getting done, and not having skills necessary to even get a foothold here. I used to be good, but in the last few years, I have not been keeping current with much of the computer field. Hell, I'm still running a 750 duron box.... The only cool thing is that I understand coding ALOT better in the past year and a half, and apparently have the patience to figure it out. C/C++ still eludes me on some things, but with more exposure to it, I think I'd be ok. Visual Basic is so fun and easy, I can understand why people tend to turn their noses up at it (and maybe anything else microsoft?) I've SEEN java and worked with those some, not scared of .php or good ol cgi either.
So, problem remains, what do I do after I graduate? Interestingly, my lease on the house comes up at the same time. I also have to figure out what to do with the camaros, and the truck. The 73 goes in storage, this is a given. The truck, much as I like it, would be for sale in a heartbeat. The Z is where I have trouble. I should sell it, but don't wanna. I know I wouldnt get what I wanted for it, nor is it likely that it would go anywhere except for maybe the dirt track or the crusher. It's just a car, but it's the closest thing I have to my dream car. Lately, I've even been wondering if I should give up on my dream of a t-top 2nd gen. God knows I fall over the 3rd and 4th gen eqivalents. they are everywhere. And, there is the gas question. Wherever I go, I will need a gas efficient car in very short order for daily driving.
So, not only am I broke, I'm worrying about my future. yah, I think I need to leave the cars alone for a while
Anyhow, no real new news. Trying to figure out what my future plans will be after graduation. I HAVE to get out of wichita. The plan originally was stay for another year and get my masters, then move. Family is behind this idea. With spring on it's way, however, I am once again getting itchy to get out of here. Want to check out kck or dallas area. I hear dallas area IT is starting to pick up again. kcmo is out of the question because of cost of living...at least so I think now. There is also the option in the back of my head of going to japan as a JET instructor. I would REALLY like that, especially if I could parlay it into something where I got to stay there for good. I was planning on pursuing this after master's program, but again, thinking of trying to pursue it earlier. I am also starting to get cold feet about master's program. I do not know exactly what a masters of management information system does, but it makes me think of data analysts, and that is something I have no real interest in. I enjoy hardware, networking (administration), security, and maybe programming. Those are the fields I'd like to tackle. If I HAD to, I definetely wouldn't sneer at an analysts job, or database admin. I just don't have any interest (or aptitude I think) for it. Still deathly afraid of getting done, and not having skills necessary to even get a foothold here. I used to be good, but in the last few years, I have not been keeping current with much of the computer field. Hell, I'm still running a 750 duron box.... The only cool thing is that I understand coding ALOT better in the past year and a half, and apparently have the patience to figure it out. C/C++ still eludes me on some things, but with more exposure to it, I think I'd be ok. Visual Basic is so fun and easy, I can understand why people tend to turn their noses up at it (and maybe anything else microsoft?) I've SEEN java and worked with those some, not scared of .php or good ol cgi either.
So, problem remains, what do I do after I graduate? Interestingly, my lease on the house comes up at the same time. I also have to figure out what to do with the camaros, and the truck. The 73 goes in storage, this is a given. The truck, much as I like it, would be for sale in a heartbeat. The Z is where I have trouble. I should sell it, but don't wanna. I know I wouldnt get what I wanted for it, nor is it likely that it would go anywhere except for maybe the dirt track or the crusher. It's just a car, but it's the closest thing I have to my dream car. Lately, I've even been wondering if I should give up on my dream of a t-top 2nd gen. God knows I fall over the 3rd and 4th gen eqivalents. they are everywhere. And, there is the gas question. Wherever I go, I will need a gas efficient car in very short order for daily driving.
So, not only am I broke, I'm worrying about my future. yah, I think I need to leave the cars alone for a while
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Statistics still kicking my ass, but I did my best. Snow mostly melted today, then it got grey and started snowing early this eveing. Got rid of cable modem again. I HATE cox. will probably get withdrawal and get it again in a coupla weeks...but while I'm poor and got 3 vehicles to pour money into, it's not a priority. Gotta get a new pc too....duron 750 with mismatched ram and tnt2 card ain't cuttin it anymore....
Monday, February 02, 2004
Been a while, folks. Thinking about getting out of the car hobby for a while. Been spending WAY too much money. statistics is officially kicking my ass. I hope I have absorbed enuf over the weekend to pass the test in a coupla hours. Can't get icq2go to work here at the lab cause of the damn virtual machine. [charlton heston]damn java, and damn microsoft all to hell.....[/charlton heston]
Cant think of anything else important....it's cold, had to dig truck out of snow this morning, did I mention it's cold?
Cant think of anything else important....it's cold, had to dig truck out of snow this morning, did I mention it's cold?
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Zoom In!
Been a while since I updated....thought winter break would be boring...it's been anything but. I had been trying to figure out how in the hell I was gonna pay for camaro stuff and school (as usual) Now that I've decided to go ahead and get masters, I got a whole nother year in this boring town. I had been thinking of giving up on my dream of going to japan, and just moving to texas or kc or something. The more I think about it though, I think I'm gonna go ahead and take a leap of faith. I mean, it's unlikely I'll ever get the chance again if I give up. That gives me about a year to save up and prepare. I'm going to have to haul ass.
I have also decided that I'm tired of trying to live a normal life. I am and always have been an intellectual. Trying to be anything else has just gotten me in trouble. It's a given that I don't think like everyone else, and I'm different. Monday instructor summed it up for me nicely: You don't see too many folks like me trying to make a living as a computer nerd...never mind anything else intellectual. That really made me think, which is apparently a first in a great long while. Instead of crying about being bored all the time, I need to do what I originally did....LEARN.
Some other interesting stuff:
www.scottsain.com----My friends website, for his comic/graphic novel venture. Xmas present from me. Keep an eye on it, I expect some good things in the future.
www.rachthegoat.com---His girlfriends (and one of my other best friends) site, expect cool things from this place as well.
As I turn toward academia in earnest, instead of trying to hurry the hell up and graduate, the cars will probably be put on hold. I hope that will not be so, but we shall see....
Been a while since I updated....thought winter break would be boring...it's been anything but. I had been trying to figure out how in the hell I was gonna pay for camaro stuff and school (as usual) Now that I've decided to go ahead and get masters, I got a whole nother year in this boring town. I had been thinking of giving up on my dream of going to japan, and just moving to texas or kc or something. The more I think about it though, I think I'm gonna go ahead and take a leap of faith. I mean, it's unlikely I'll ever get the chance again if I give up. That gives me about a year to save up and prepare. I'm going to have to haul ass.
I have also decided that I'm tired of trying to live a normal life. I am and always have been an intellectual. Trying to be anything else has just gotten me in trouble. It's a given that I don't think like everyone else, and I'm different. Monday instructor summed it up for me nicely: You don't see too many folks like me trying to make a living as a computer nerd...never mind anything else intellectual. That really made me think, which is apparently a first in a great long while. Instead of crying about being bored all the time, I need to do what I originally did....LEARN.
Some other interesting stuff:
www.scottsain.com----My friends website, for his comic/graphic novel venture. Xmas present from me. Keep an eye on it, I expect some good things in the future.
www.rachthegoat.com---His girlfriends (and one of my other best friends) site, expect cool things from this place as well.
As I turn toward academia in earnest, instead of trying to hurry the hell up and graduate, the cars will probably be put on hold. I hope that will not be so, but we shall see....
Friday, January 02, 2004
Happy New year folks. Fever finally broke last nite, I think, and I have been antsy to get out and enjoy some of this beautiful weather we've been having the whole time I was sick. I was not able to get sloshed on new years, nor enjoy it in any traditional sense, but I DID double up on the nyquil and had a great nites sleep.
Local news, the head qb for kstate is being accused of rape and sexual assualt. This is happening in arizona mere days before they're supposed to play at the fiesta bowl. Oddly enough, the team has had no bad deeds on it's record, and is supposed to have "high standards" Interesting, huh? He hasn't been charged with anything, but everyone's dying to find out if he'll still be able to play.
Last nite, came across some intersting links. Mostly samurai and feudal japanese history stuff. I'm so very happy. Even though history isn't in my career plans anymore, I still love the stuff. Will post links later.
Local news, the head qb for kstate is being accused of rape and sexual assualt. This is happening in arizona mere days before they're supposed to play at the fiesta bowl. Oddly enough, the team has had no bad deeds on it's record, and is supposed to have "high standards" Interesting, huh? He hasn't been charged with anything, but everyone's dying to find out if he'll still be able to play.
Last nite, came across some intersting links. Mostly samurai and feudal japanese history stuff. I'm so very happy. Even though history isn't in my career plans anymore, I still love the stuff. Will post links later.
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